Jon-Benet Ramsey Syndrome 

When a car goes past 

I can’t help but think 

That maybe 

It will stop near me 

And some guy will get out 

Put a chloroform cloth over my face 

Wait until my head goes limp 

To load me into the back of his van 

I feel slightly excited 

at the prospect of being one step closer 

To Jon-Benet Ramsey, 

To sainthood 

But I know 

The car won’t stop 

I just can’t help it 

I want someone 

To look at me 

Not too long 

And not too hard 

If only life 

Were a five second peep show 

Someone could put a penny in the machine 

I could flash my tits 

The curtain could go down 

And some voice 

From above would say 

Well, that's all folks!